Couples therapy that treats the fight as a loop driven by attachment fear, and its sibling, Leslie Greenberg's emotion-focused therapy, which works on emotion directly. Not the same as EFT tapping.
Mental modelsAttachment patterns, The pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsThey’re not fighting about the dishes. They never are.
Mental modelThe pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsRelationships aren’t optimized by strategy. They’re healed through vulnerability.
Mental modelAttachment patterns
Their wordsEFT’s attachment framework consistently provides the most precise clinical map for understanding what breaks and what repairs intimate bonds.
Mental modelAttachment patterns
Their wordsAttachment patterns tend to show themselves where the risk feels greatest.
Mental modelsSecond-order thinking, Attachment patterns, The pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsBut avoidance does not actually resolve anything, so feelings build underneath the surface.
Mental modelsThe pain beneath the symptom, Attachment patterns
Their wordsWhen you get angry fast, it usually is not because you are "too much." It is often because your nervous system learned to live on alert.
Mental modelsThe pain beneath the symptom, Attachment patterns
Their wordsUnderneath anger is sadness over all your cumulative experiences in life of not being responded to, past and present. The sadness around powerlessness. Unresolved grief.
Their wordsIt’s not about eliminating emotions, but working with them
Their wordsEmotion-Focused Therapy is based on the principle that emotional change is best achieved by changing emotion with emotion, rather than with understanding or rationality, and this results in more enduring change.
Their wordsit’s not an in-depth approach to how humans function. It’s good at helping people cope, but not really good at dealing with the core problems people have.
Their wordsEFT focuses on helping people become aware of emotions, express their emotions in the right way at the right time, learn to tolerate and regulate them, and to reflect on them to make sense of them and transform them
Their wordsThe cognitive-behavioural model, in being more rational, tends to be a more masculine mode of therapy.
Their wordsPeople store all of these things inside and then suddenly, something happens in their lives – maybe the loss of a job, for example – and they totally break down.
Their wordsCognitive behavioural therapy aims to change the way we think about our emotions. It’s very much focused on regulating or suppressing painful feelings, which can be damaging
Mental modelsAttachment patterns, The pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsThey’re not fighting about the dishes. They never are.
Mental modelsThe pain beneath the symptom, Attachment patterns
Their wordsWhen you get angry fast, it usually is not because you are "too much." It is often because your nervous system learned to live on alert.
Mental modelsThe pain beneath the symptom, Attachment patterns
Their wordsUnderneath anger is sadness over all your cumulative experiences in life of not being responded to, past and present. The sadness around powerlessness. Unresolved grief.
Mental modelThe pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsRelationships aren’t optimized by strategy. They’re healed through vulnerability.
Mental modelAttachment patterns
Their wordsEFT’s attachment framework consistently provides the most precise clinical map for understanding what breaks and what repairs intimate bonds.
Mental modelAttachment patterns
Their wordsAttachment patterns tend to show themselves where the risk feels greatest.
Mental modelsSecond-order thinking, Attachment patterns, The pursue-withdraw cycle
Their wordsBut avoidance does not actually resolve anything, so feelings build underneath the surface.
Their wordsIt’s not about eliminating emotions, but working with them
Their wordsEmotion-Focused Therapy is based on the principle that emotional change is best achieved by changing emotion with emotion, rather than with understanding or rationality, and this results in more enduring change.
Their wordsEFT focuses on helping people become aware of emotions, express their emotions in the right way at the right time, learn to tolerate and regulate them, and to reflect on them to make sense of them and transform them
Their wordsCognitive behavioural therapy aims to change the way we think about our emotions. It’s very much focused on regulating or suppressing painful feelings, which can be damaging
Their wordsit’s not an in-depth approach to how humans function. It’s good at helping people cope, but not really good at dealing with the core problems people have.
Their wordsThe cognitive-behavioural model, in being more rational, tends to be a more masculine mode of therapy.
Their wordsPeople store all of these things inside and then suddenly, something happens in their lives – maybe the loss of a job, for example – and they totally break down.