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Does empathy make us better?

Top voices on empathy: Paul Graham, Satya Nadella, Paul Bloom, Nick Cave and 9 others.

19 dated claims from 13 people · 4 views · most recent 1 Jul 2026. Every line below links to the person’s own words.

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  1. Empathy is the core skill for anyone who leads or makes things for other people

    Seth GodinJulie ZhuoSatya NadellaKen NortonPaul Graham

  2. Empathy is a poor guide: it narrows to the few and the near, and people overrate their own

    Paul BloomTyler CowenAdam Grant

  3. Caring from a step away works better than feeling what others feel

    Nick CaveArielle Schwartz

  4. It can be learned, and some ways of building it work far better than others

    Kent BeckJustin JacksonTim SweeneyAdam GrantPaul Bloom

A viewour reading

Empathy is the core skill for anyone who leads or makes things for other people

7 claims filed here, newest first — each in the words of whoever said it.

Creativity is a choice: extending empathy to the person being served and announcing something into the future that might not work.

  1. Seth Godin Marketing author and daily blogger It means that you have to extend yourself with empathy to the person you're seeking to serve, to the person who the work is for. And you have to extend yourself not just through space, but through time into the future, announcing something that might or might not work. You don't know yet. That's what makes it creative. If you exert the emotional labor to do those two things, sometimes you will have a successful creative outcome. That's a choice. Seth Godin: "Failure is Learning on Your Way to Mastery" and Other Advice for Creativity (The Knowledge Project #105, published 23 February 2021)youtube.com · 26 Mar 2024 · 0:56:29 into the video
    Their wordsIt means that you have to extend yourself with empathy to the person you're seeking to serve, to the person who the work is for. And you have to extend yourself not just through space, but through time into the future, announcing something that might or might not work. You don't know yet. That's what makes it creative. If you exert the emotional labor to do those two things, sometimes you will have a successful creative outcome. That's a choice.

    Where this was said

    Watch from 0:56:29 plays here

    ↗Seth Godin: "Failure is Learning on Your Way to Mastery" and Other Advice for Creativity (The Knowledge Project #105, published 23 February 2021)youtube.com

    26 Mar 2024 · video · 1h 21m · spoken · machine transcript

Show all 7 claims

Effective writing requires empathy for the reader, not only thought about what you want to say.

  1. Julie Zhuo Co-founder of Sundial; former vice president of product… But effective writing is a two-way street and requires empathy for your reader. The Looking Glass: Reader Empathy and Weird Peoplelg.substack.com · 27 Feb 2023
    Their wordsBut effective writing is a two-way street and requires empathy for your reader.

    ↗The Looking Glass: Reader Empathy and Weird Peoplelg.substack.com

    27 Feb 2023

For a leader creating anything new, the skill needed more than any other is a deep sense of empathy.

  1. Satya Nadella Chairman and chief executive officer of Microsoft if you think about creating anything new, any new product, any new business, as a leader, the one skill that you need more than any other skill is that deep sense of empathy. In Chicago Booth visit, Microsoft CEO discusses what he looks for in a leadernews.uchicago.edu · 6 Nov 2018
    Their wordsif you think about creating anything new, any new product, any new business, as a leader, the one skill that you need more than any other skill is that deep sense of empathy.

    ↗In Chicago Booth visit, Microsoft CEO discusses what he looks for in a leadernews.uchicago.edu

    6 Nov 2018

Empathy is not just for personal life: it is core to product development and to creating any value.

  1. Satya Nadella Chairman and chief executive officer of Microsoft I actually think that empathy is not something that you reserve just for your personal life, even though it helps a lot. Obviously you need it to exist as a human in the world. But it is also core to product development. It is core to creation of any value. In Chicago Booth visit, Microsoft CEO discusses what he looks for in a leadernews.uchicago.edu · 6 Nov 2018
    Their wordsI actually think that empathy is not something that you reserve just for your personal life, even though it helps a lot. Obviously you need it to exist as a human in the world. But it is also core to product development. It is core to creation of any value.

    ↗In Chicago Booth visit, Microsoft CEO discusses what he looks for in a leadernews.uchicago.edu

    6 Nov 2018

Kindness, fairness and being a good friend all stem from empathy.

  1. Ken Norton Executive coach for product leaders Most of the other traits on my list – such as kindness, fairness, or being a good friend – all stem from empathy. Empathy and Product Managementbringthedonuts.com · 31 Jan 2016
    Their wordsMost of the other traits on my list – such as kindness, fairness, or being a good friend – all stem from empathy.

    ↗Empathy and Product Managementbringthedonuts.com

    31 Jan 2016

Empathy is essential to leading a team, especially for product managers, who have responsibility without authority.

  1. Ken Norton Executive coach for product leaders But empathy is also essential to leading a team, especially for PMs who tend to have responsibility without authority and must earn the respect and support of others. Empathy and Product Managementbringthedonuts.com · 31 Jan 2016
    Their wordsBut empathy is also essential to leading a team, especially for PMs who tend to have responsibility without authority and must earn the respect and support of others.

    ↗Empathy and Product Managementbringthedonuts.com

    31 Jan 2016

Empathy is probably the single most important difference between a good hacker and a great one, because great software has to be seen from the user's point of view.

  1. Paul Graham Co-founder of Y Combinator and Viaweb Empathy is probably the single most important difference between a good hacker and a great one. Some hackers are quite smart, but when it comes to empathy are practically solipsists. Hackers and Painterspaulgraham.com · 1 May 2003
    Their wordsEmpathy is probably the single most important difference between a good hacker and a great one. Some hackers are quite smart, but when it comes to empathy are practically solipsists.

    ↗Hackers and Painterspaulgraham.com

    1 May 2003

A viewour reading

Empathy is a poor guide: it narrows to the few and the near, and people overrate their own

4 claims filed here, newest first — each in the words of whoever said it.

Empathy is a poor moral guide that leads to bad decisions.

  1. Paul Bloom Psychologist at the University of Toronto and professor emeritus at Yale My argument against empathy is limited. It argues that empathy is a poor moral guide. It leads to bad decisions. Paul Bloom on the Psychology of Children, and the Morality of Empathy and Disgust (Conversations with Tyler, Ep. 218)conversationswithtyler.com · 13 May 2024
    Their wordsMy argument against empathy is limited. It argues that empathy is a poor moral guide. It leads to bad decisions.

    ↗Paul Bloom on the Psychology of Children, and the Morality of Empathy and Disgust (Conversations with Tyler, Ep. 218)conversationswithtyler.com

    13 May 2024

Show all 4 claims

Guests who answer by signalling empathy instead of saying something substantive are a reason to turn a bit more against empathy.

  1. Tyler Cowen Economist at George Mason University The signaling-empathy answers I find quite uninteresting, and I think a lot of my listeners do, too. Yet people will just keep on doing this, and I get frustrated. Then I think, “Well, Tyler, you should turn a bit more against empathy for this reason.” And I think that’s correct. Paul Bloom on the Psychology of Children, and the Morality of Empathy and Disgust (Conversations with Tyler, Ep. 218)conversationswithtyler.com · 13 May 2024
    Their wordsThe signaling-empathy answers I find quite uninteresting, and I think a lot of my listeners do, too. Yet people will just keep on doing this, and I get frustrated. Then I think, “Well, Tyler, you should turn a bit more against empathy for this reason.” And I think that’s correct.

    ↗Paul Bloom on the Psychology of Children, and the Morality of Empathy and Disgust (Conversations with Tyler, Ep. 218)conversationswithtyler.com

    13 May 2024

People are nowhere near as good at empathy as they think they are.

  1. Paul Bloom Psychologist at the University of Toronto and professor emeritus at Yale But in general, we are nowhere near as good at empathy as we think we are. Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net · 2 Jan 2024
    Their wordsBut in general, we are nowhere near as good at empathy as we think we are.

    ↗Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net

    2 Jan 2024

Empathy for your own group is worth little if it leads you to devalue other groups; you can care about people's feelings without sharing them.

Filed here becauseNot against caring: against feeling for one group at another's expense.

  1. Adam Grant Organizational psychologist and professor at the Wharton School It doesn't matter how much empathy you feel for your group if it leads you to devalue other groups. We need more rational compassion: reflective concern for people different from us. You don't have to share their feelings to care about their feelings. GRANTED: A more nuanced view of empathy, confidence, and culture fitadamgrant.substack.com · 1 Dec 2019
    Their wordsIt doesn't matter how much empathy you feel for your group if it leads you to devalue other groups. We need more rational compassion: reflective concern for people different from us. You don't have to share their feelings to care about their feelings.

    ↗GRANTED: A more nuanced view of empathy, confidence, and culture fitadamgrant.substack.com

    1 Dec 2019

A viewour reading

Caring from a step away works better than feeling what others feel

2 claims filed here, newest first — each in the words of whoever said it.

Faced with someone's raw suffering, compassion from a step away seems to work better than empathy, which can leave you disabled by their despair.

  1. Nick Cave Australian songwriter and writer I suppose I do this by practising compassion rather than empathy – being moved by someone’s suffering and wanting to help, rather than putting myself in their position and feeling their pain. Standing a step away and seeking to assist someone in need, rather than being disabled by their despair, seems to be the way to manage these things. It appears that answering to people’s grief is somewhat cathartic for you. Is it cathartic?theredhandfiles.com · 1 Feb 2024
    Their wordsI suppose I do this by practising compassion rather than empathy – being moved by someone’s suffering and wanting to help, rather than putting myself in their position and feeling their pain. Standing a step away and seeking to assist someone in need, rather than being disabled by their despair, seems to be the way to manage these things.

    ↗It appears that answering to people’s grief is somewhat cathartic for you. Is it cathartic?theredhandfiles.com

    1 Feb 2024

Empathy does not have to be a faucet stuck on: as an adult you can choose when and how much to feel what others feel.

  1. Arielle Schwartz Clinical psychologist, EMDR consultant and yoga teacher in Boulder, Colorado As an adult, I can now choose when and how much to sense and feel. I also give myself permission not to feel sometimes. Empathy (or how to adjust your faucet…)drarielleschwartz.com · 27 Sept 2017
    Their wordsAs an adult, I can now choose when and how much to sense and feel. I also give myself permission not to feel sometimes.

    ↗Empathy (or how to adjust your faucet…)drarielleschwartz.com

    27 Sept 2017

A viewour reading

It can be learned, and some ways of building it work far better than others

6 claims filed here, newest first — each in the words of whoever said it.

Empathy, body language and tone of voice are learnable skills, and expecting the world to adapt to how you are wired is not going to work.

  1. Kent Beck Creator of extreme programming and test-driven development There are people who say, "Well, it's up to the rest of the world to adapt to the ways that I'm weird." It's just not because I mean, it's not going to happen. So, learning empathy, learning how to read body language, learning how to read tone of voice, this is not natural skills, but they're skills. They're learnable. How Kent Beck shapes the software engineering industryyoutube.com · 1 Jul 2026 · 2:07:15 into the video
    Their wordsThere are people who say, "Well, it's up to the rest of the world to adapt to the ways that I'm weird." It's just not because I mean, it's not going to happen. So, learning empathy, learning how to read body language, learning how to read tone of voice, this is not natural skills, but they're skills. They're learnable.

    Where this was said

    Watch from 2:07:15 plays here

    ↗How Kent Beck shapes the software engineering industryyoutube.com

    1 Jul 2026 · video · 2h 28m · spoken · machine transcript

Show all 6 claims

Face-to-face interaction conveys understanding and empathy that text-based communication does not.

  1. Justin Jackson Canadian bootstrapper and writer on small software businesses In person, it's easier to grok where someone's coming from. It's simpler to see how they're feeling. We have a communication problemjustinjackson.ca · 14 Jun 2026
    Their wordsIn person, it's easier to grok where someone's coming from. It's simpler to see how they're feeling.

    ↗We have a communication problemjustinjackson.ca

    14 Jun 2026

Humans together in a shared world are a naturally empathetic medium, while typing messages at each other is a self-reinforcing negative dynamic.

  1. Tim Sweeney Founder and CEO of Epic Games I think the lesson from all of that is that humans talking to humans and being together in the real world or a virtual world, is a naturally empathetic medium, which naturally leads to bonding, and though conflict sometimes occurs, it's just generally so much more promoting of our social norms and good interactions between people and positivity promoting. Tim Sweeney: Fortnite, Unreal Engine, and the Future of Gaming | Lex Fridman Podcast #467youtube.com · 30 Apr 2025 · 4:22:28 into the video
    Their wordsI think the lesson from all of that is that humans talking to humans and being together in the real world or a virtual world, is a naturally empathetic medium, which naturally leads to bonding, and though conflict sometimes occurs, it's just generally so much more promoting of our social norms and good interactions between people and positivity promoting.

    Where this was said

    Watch from 4:22:28 plays here

    ↗Tim Sweeney: Fortnite, Unreal Engine, and the Future of Gaming | Lex Fridman Podcast #467youtube.com

    30 Apr 2025 · video · 4h 25m · spoken · official transcript

Reading novels does more to build empathy than watching TV and films.

  1. Adam Grant Organizational psychologist and professor at the Wharton School Fiction is also better for enhancing empathy than watching TV and movies. Across 70 experiments, novels did more to boost concern for and understanding of others. The Case for Reading Fictionadamgrant.substack.com · 18 Feb 2025
    Their wordsFiction is also better for enhancing empathy than watching TV and movies. Across 70 experiments, novels did more to boost concern for and understanding of others.

    ↗The Case for Reading Fictionadamgrant.substack.com

    18 Feb 2025

To understand people unlike us, listening to what they say works better than assuming we know what it is like to be them.

  1. Paul Bloom Psychologist at the University of Toronto and professor emeritus at Yale Instead of assuming that we can know what it is like to be them, we can focus more on listening to what they have to say. Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net · 2 Jan 2024
    Their wordsInstead of assuming that we can know what it is like to be them, we can focus more on listening to what they have to say.

    ↗Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net

    2 Jan 2024

Virtual reality simulations are terrible empathy machines: you often come out understanding other lives less than before.

  1. Paul Bloom Psychologist at the University of Toronto and professor emeritus at Yale The various versions of VR out there, high-tech and low-tech, are terrible empathy machines. After using them, you often end up with less of an understanding of other lives than you started with. Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net · 2 Jan 2024
    Their wordsThe various versions of VR out there, high-tech and low-tech, are terrible empathy machines. After using them, you often end up with less of an understanding of other lives than you started with.

    ↗Virtual Reality is a terrible empathy machinesmallpotatoes.paulbloom.net

    2 Jan 2024

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