Terry Real
Family therapist and founder of Relational Life Therapy. Author of I Don't Want to Talk About It and Us; argues that the Western idea of the separate individual is what makes couples' work hard.
Terry Real did not write this page.
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Their wordsIt hardens into resentment, and resentment dries up generosity. What looks like acceptance may actually be resignation.
↗Feeling Lonely in a Relationship? Why It Happens and How to Reconnectterryreal.com 1st of 3 in this piece
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Attachment theorybehavioural science
Their wordsYou can protect yourself or you can work on being intimate, but you can't do both at the same time.
↗Feeling Lonely in a Relationship? Why It Happens and How to Reconnectterryreal.com 2nd of 3 in this piece
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Their wordsThe important thing to know is that the cycle is self-feeding: it does not need anyone to be at fault to keep going.
↗Feeling Lonely in a Relationship? Why It Happens and How to Reconnectterryreal.com 3rd of 3 in this piece
- 3 years earlier
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Their wordsIn my practice, I have seen that opening neural pathways can lead to profound change, to brand-new traits and behavior, sometimes in a matter of minutes.
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Their wordsNeurobiologists tell us that it takes two things to unlock and open up a neural pathway. The first is that the implicit must be made explicit. Sometimes you need help seeing what you don't see. But you must be open to the feedback. Second, there must be some sort of recoil, a sense of discrepancy, of "Oh no, I'm not sure I really want to keep doing that."