Family therapist and founder of Relational Life Therapy. Author of I Don't Want to Talk About It and Us; argues that the Western idea of the separate individual is what makes couples' work hard.
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The behaviour on the surface is often the visible part of something else: anger over grief, resentment over hurt, addiction over pain. Treating only the surface treats an effect.
Terry RealFamily therapist and founder of Relational Life TherapyNeurobiologists tell us that it takes two things to unlock and open up a neural pathway. The first is that the implicit must be made explicit. Sometimes you need help seeing what you don't see. But you must be open to the feedback. Second, there must be some sort of recoil, a sense of discrepancy, of "Oh no, I'm not sure I really want to keep doing that."↗The Myth of the Individualterryreal.com · 11 Aug 2023
Their wordsNeurobiologists tell us that it takes two things to unlock and open up a neural pathway. The first is that the implicit must be made explicit. Sometimes you need help seeing what you don't see. But you must be open to the feedback. Second, there must be some sort of recoil, a sense of discrepancy, of "Oh no, I'm not sure I really want to keep doing that."
How a person learned to seek safety shows up most when the emotional stakes are highest, and what looks like a character flaw is often a learned alarm.
Terry RealFamily therapist and founder of Relational Life TherapyNeurobiologists tell us that it takes two things to unlock and open up a neural pathway. The first is that the implicit must be made explicit. Sometimes you need help seeing what you don't see. But you must be open to the feedback. Second, there must be some sort of recoil, a sense of discrepancy, of "Oh no, I'm not sure I really want to keep doing that."↗The Myth of the Individualterryreal.com · 11 Aug 2023
Their wordsNeurobiologists tell us that it takes two things to unlock and open up a neural pathway. The first is that the implicit must be made explicit. Sometimes you need help seeing what you don't see. But you must be open to the feedback. Second, there must be some sort of recoil, a sense of discrepancy, of "Oh no, I'm not sure I really want to keep doing that."