Writer and illustrator, author of Am I There Yet? and Out of the Blue; writes the newsletter Out of the Blue on grief, joy and everyday attention.
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2 of Mari Andrew's claims fit 2 mental models. Most often: Incentives, Trade-offs.
Look at what people are rewarded for; it explains more behaviour than what they say, your own included.
Their wordsIn the current social media zeitgeist, pain is regularly rewarded over joy.
Every choice gives something up, so name the cost; and check, because some trade-offs everyone assumes are not real.
Their wordsEvery act of desire involves giving something up, and we don't usually call it sacrifice because we're too busy being delighted by what we picked!