Priya Parker
American conflict facilitator and author of The Art of Gathering (2018) and The Art of Fighting (2026); she writes the newsletter Group Life on how people gather and disagree.
Priya Parker did not write this page.
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Their wordsPeople who are good at fighting often share something in common: They lead with curiosity.
↗What kind of fight is this?priyaparker.substack.com 1st of 2 in this piece
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Our reading
Once a group conflict becomes a fight over symbols, it is exceedingly hard to get out of.
Their wordsWhen a community enters a symbol-laden stage of a conflict, it can be exceedingly difficult to get out of it.
↗What kind of fight is this?priyaparker.substack.com 2nd of 2 in this piece
- 7 days earlier
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Our reading
Their wordsThink about that. Doctors prescribing joining to people to help with their ailments. It is healing to join things.
- 7 days earlier
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Their wordsI am still unlearning that if I hurt someone, it doesn’t make me a “bad” person. It makes me a person.
↗Letting the arrow piercepriyaparker.substack.com 1st of 2 in this piece
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Their wordsBecoming an artful fighter isn’t just learning to shoot an arrow with skill, it’s also learning to be hit with grace.
↗Letting the arrow piercepriyaparker.substack.com 2nd of 2 in this piece
- 2 weeks earlier
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Their wordsMembership in a community often requires that we limit our freedoms in various ways for the greater good. But in modern life, those limitations are up for negotiation in every group.
- 2 weeks earlier
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Their wordsBut in fact, one of the skills that is at the core of the art of fighting is knowing when to let it lie.
- 12 days earlier
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Their wordsI tell you this because it’s how I know that holding heat is a learnable skill. I did not come to this work with a natural talent for it.
↗Heat is relevance (and other things I've learned about healthy heat)priyaparker.substack.com 1st of 3 in this piece
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Their wordsAnd in twenty-five years as a conflict dialogue facilitator, I’ve learned something deeply counterintuitive: long-term communities need love, and they also need conflict.
↗Heat is relevance (and other things I've learned about healthy heat)priyaparker.substack.com 2nd of 3 in this piece
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Their wordsWe ricochet between silence and explosion. Neither is helping our groups become stronger, clearer, or more connected. Groups can be as threatened by unhealthy peace as they are by unhealthy conflict.
↗Heat is relevance (and other things I've learned about healthy heat)priyaparker.substack.com 3rd of 3 in this piece