Cold Turkey (In These Times, 2004)

Kurt Vonnegut · 10 May 2004

The piece opens with

America has no chance of becoming humane and reasonable, because power corrupts and human beings get drunk on it

Their wordsBut I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America’s becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power.

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Every claim below was made in this piece, quoted word for word and numbered in the order the piece makes them, so you can read it there rather than take our word for it. The sentence above each quote is our reading of the claim, not their wording. Each quote was checked against a stored copy of the page at build time; where the two differ, the quote is the fact.

Our reading
America has no chance of becoming humane and reasonable, because power corrupts and human beings get drunk on it

Their wordsBut I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America’s becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power.
Our reading
The most vocal Christians demand the Ten Commandments in public buildings but never mention the Beatitudes

Their wordsFor some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings.
Our reading
The Constitution's tragic flaw is that only nut cases want to be president

Their wordsThere is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
Our reading
All great literature is about what a bummer it is to be a human being

Their wordsAll great literature is about what a bummer it is to be a human being: Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn, The Red Badge of Courage, the Iliad and the Odyssey, Crime and Punishment, the Bible and The Charge of the Light Brigade.
Our reading
The two most abused, addictive and destructive substances are legal, despite the government's war on drugs

Their wordsMy government’s got a war on drugs. But get this: The two most widely abused and addictive and destructive of all substances are both perfectly legal.
Our reading
The industrialized world is hopelessly hooked on fossil fuels, and they will soon run out

Their wordsWhen you got here, even when I got here, the industrialized world was already hopelessly hooked on fossil fuels, and very soon now there won’t be any more of those.

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