Buy my new book HOW TO DIE (AND OTHER STORIES)!!

Mike Monteiro · 7 Aug 2026

Mike Monteiro did not write this page.

Every claim below was made in this piece, quoted word for word and numbered in the order the piece makes them, so you can read it there rather than take our word for it. The sentence above each quote is our reading of the claim, not their wording. Each quote was checked against a stored copy of the page at build time; where the two differ, the quote is the fact.

Our reading
The ability to choose where one lives is a privilege that should be extended to everyone.

Their wordsI'd like everyone to be able to choose where they live, and be safe where they choose to live.
Our reading
People would be kinder to each other if they shared each other's food.

Their wordsI genuinely think we'd be kinder to each other if we ate one another's food, as Anthony Bourdain used to say.

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The other pieces are the ones whose claims are worded most like this one's. That measures language, not agreement: they may argue the opposite.